The Tsunamis of Life

Somewhere between the old and the new.

Displacement

To be displaced means to be dislodged, dislocated, moved, shifted, repositioned; moved out of place, knocked out of place/position.

Yes, knocked out of place about sums it up.

In terms of Physics : Displacement refers to "how far out of place an object is"; it is the object's overall change in position.

That works too. Right now I am sitting in a tiny apartment a 21.9 miles (34 minutes) away from my home. Of course, my home is just a mental construct at this time. It is not really there. Yet, how much I long to be back in it. I miss silly things. Sleeping in my own bed (not going to happen again, best get used to it). I miss the way my stairs creaked when someone walked up or down them (stairs are gone). I miss all the little quirks of the house that is no longer there.

Am I complaining? I guess in some ways, I am. Does this mean that I feel any less grateful for all that I DO have? No. But I have to admit I have been struggling lately. Feeling waves of emotions unlike any others. I guess it is grief. But I have felt grief before and this feels different. Maybe it is because it seems so wrong to be feeling it. I have my sons, my granddaughter, and a handful of close friends. I have food and clothing and a roof over my head. I have all that I need. AND yet, I feel lost.

When I stand within the framework of my new home, I look out and see the skeleton of the old. How many of us get to really live with a physical (or wooden) metaphor life? I can go to my property and stand between the past and the future.

The rooms where my sons and I spent years growing, changing, playing, studying, sleeping, arguing, laughing, living are disappearing. New rooms are appearing. If all goes according to plan, my sons will visit and a little more of our lives together will be spent in these rooms. Where the old house stands, I envision gardens overflowing with flowers and vegetables. I hope to utilize the land and the space that I have in a much more efficient and self-sufficient manner than I have before. I have always wanted to be a much more self-sufficient person. I hope to find a balance and a happiness within myself. I promise to feel the peace, love, and joy that our world intended. As I struggle to find peace within, I will create beauty around me..... That is my goal.